You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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