The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
