I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
