It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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