It's Friday. Sex?
Buhtt sex?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
