what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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