those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
