He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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