I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize