I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
