if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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