There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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