billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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