hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I supernannyed him into submission
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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