guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
