We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
