I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize