I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
