I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize