I CAN MOONWALK!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
