Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
