As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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