I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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