Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize