oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The adults are the big ones right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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