This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you didnt know i had herpes?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize