I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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