sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
