girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
