We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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