Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have demons in me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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