Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
