im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
