bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
