it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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