Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
