I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
