I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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