The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
