How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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