I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
