That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
