Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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