He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize