Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize