He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just had sex on a roof
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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