i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Farmville is her only friend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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