hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
