do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
