these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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