i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize