i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
