So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
