I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize