I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
