Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
