So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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