Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
