please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
