i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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