I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
