Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize