So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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