My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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