dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
