YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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