oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
