i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
